Saturday, May 16, 2009

Wedding Vows

" But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. And they twain shall be one flesh, so they are no more twain but one flesh. " Mark 10:9

I recently attended the wedding of my niece. Our family travelled across the country for her special day. She was a beautiful bride. Her beautiful long black hair and olive skin looked stunning next to her beautiful white gown....... I remember the day she was born. Can it be that she is now a grown woman and married to the man of her dreams? Where has time flown?

As we sat in the chapel and listened to the ceremony I was so very touched by the vows that my niece exchanged with her beloved. They were traditional vows, but they really touched my heart..... I was so touched....... I wept....... and my niece was weeping as she pledged her love and commitment to her husband. It was beautiful.

As I pondered the vows they exchanged to one another, I felt an ache in my heart..... my husband and I will be married 17 yrs and on our wedding day we exchanged no vows to one another. We were married in an LDS Temple, and there was no exchange of vows. There was no " I promise to have and to hold, to love and to cherish in sickness and in health..........." there was no such vows made. Instead we recited the following:

Officiator: Brother ______, and Sister ______, please join hands in the patriarchal grip or sure sign of the nail.

Couple: Joins hands in the patriarchal grip ( a hand grip similar to the boyscout hand shake) . No clothing is supposed to interfere when this grip is given to one another.

Officiator: Brother_______, do you take Sister Pickering by the right hand and receive her unto yourself to be your lawful and wedded wife for time and all eternity with a covenant and promise that you will observe and keep all the laws, rites and ordinances pertaining to this holy order of matrimony in the new and everlasting covenant, and this you do in the presence of God, angels, and these witnesses of your own free will and choice?

Groom: says "yes".

Officiator: Sister ___________, do you take Brother Pickering by the right hand and give yourself to him to be his lawful and wedded wife and for him to be your lawful and wedded husband for time and all eternity, with a covenant and promise that you will observe and keep all the laws, rites and ordinances pertaining to this holy order of matrimony in the new and everlasting covenant and this you do in the presense of God, angels, and these witnesses of your own free will and choice?

Bride: says "yes"

Officiator: By virtue of the holy priesthood and the authority vested in me, I pronounce you legally and lawfully husband and wife for time and all eternity, and I seal upon you the blessings of the holy resurrection with power to come forth in the morning of the first resurrection clothed in glory, immortality and eternal lives, adn I seal upon you the blessings of kingdoms, thrones, principalities, powers, dominions, and exaltations, with all the blessings of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and say unto you: be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth that you may have joy and rejoicing in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. All these blessings, together with all the blessings appertaining to the new and everlasting covenant I seal upon you by the virtue of the holy priesthood through your faithfulness, in the name of the father and the son and the holy ghost. Amen.

That's it.

Basically an LDS couple is making a "covenant" or promise to be faithful to the LDS ordinances, laws and rites. They make no promise to love one another, to cherish one another, to be there in sickness or health or good times or bad. Nope. There is no exchange of rings as a symbol of their love and commitment. There is no lighting of the unity candle, to symbolize that they will be a "light" to the world. Finally there is no glorifying God in the entire ceremony. There is no singing His praises or promising to be faithful to God. The promise is made to "observe and keep all the rituals rites, laws and ordinances". There is no promise made to one another other than to take the said person as your lawful wife or husband.

After attending my niece's wedding I can honestly say there is no comparison.

Here is an example of traditional vows made in a Christian wedding:

Male: I ______ take you, ________to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. I hereto pledge you my faithfulness.

Wife: I ______ take you, ______ to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better , for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

The Christian couple makes promises to one another. They are promises to love, to cherish, to be there in good times and bad.

I was also touched when I watched my niece being walked down the aisle by her father....... it was so beautiful. When the pastor asked "who gives this woman to be wedded today and the father answered : " I give my daughter to be wedded today"..... I just wept..... I know how much my brother in law loves his girl.

My dad never got a chance to walk me up the aisle. He had to stay outside the temple and wait for me to come out before he could kiss me and hug me. I knew how hard that was for him. It just about broke his heart to not be there on my wedding day.

The Lord spoke and taught about marriage. He believed that marriage was one man and one woman joined in one flesh. That is the picture of marriage taught in the Bible. That has always been God's plan for marriage.
I love the passage in Ephesians chapter 5 ........
" Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence ( respect) her husband. "
What a beautiful passage on marriage! A godly man should love his wife , enough to lay down his life for her as Christ loved us.......when a husband loves his wife like this, then the wife is easily able to submit to his headship and reverence or "respect" him.
God knew that men needed to be respected and women needed to be loved. He created us that way. Women have a need to be loved and cherished and men have a need placed in them by the creator to be respected and reverenced.
What a beautiful picture of marriage! Marriage was not designed to be a vehicle for us to receive dominions and powers and kingdoms. Marriage, ordained of God is a symbol of the relationship Christ has with His bride - The Church - one of love and reverence.
Simply beautiful,


  1. Hmm... I feel a bit guilty for having read the text of the sealing ceremony...

    Still, I will say that while I like how traditional Christian wedding ceremonies are normally done, a lot of my LDS relatives (my husband especially) tell me that they admire the simplicity of the LDS sealing ceremony. They see Protestant ceremonies as needlessly extravagant and wordy.

    I wanted Paul to feel comfortable with our wedding, knowing that getting married outside the temple was hard enough for him as it was, so I instructed my pastor to keep our vows as short as possible. I think the "speaking" portion of our wedding ceremony lasted 10-15 minutes.

    I wish I had it in writing what my pastor had said at the ceremony. There's a video of it somewhere, I know. I should check with my father on it.

    I've occasionally had LDS friends try to play the "my temple marriage was better" game with me, and I always wonder who the heck they're trying to convince. I'm not going to go through why I'm not sorry I didn't get married in the temple, but I thought my wedding was fabulous (for a low-budget wedding) and the only regret I have is that I didn't buy my own dress. If they liked their temple wedding ceremony, then I'm happy for them. I see no reason for us to take shots at each other's weddings.

    If you want to see photos of my wedding, Gloria, they can be found here.

  2. Gloria,

    I moved to Utah under a year ago. I'm an Evangelical Christian. My fiance used to be LDS some twenty years ago. We are planning on getting married in the fall. I have no qualms about the reception being in an LDS buildig. But, some of my fiance's family is LDS and think that the bishop is okay marrying us. Well, I've been doing research and came across your page. I don't believe that the bishop's sayings are in tandum with a Christian wedding. I don't believe that this "celetial marriage" deal is taught in God's Word. So, I'm glad you pointed out the differences. Thank you for your site! May God bless you in reaching the LDS people. Most of the ones I've met would give you the shirt off their backs, but doctrinally it saddens me that they are amiss on some vital truths contained in the scriptures.
    God bless your efforts!

  3. wow, What is more important than being sealed to the best and most uplifting person you have ever made a relationship with. I have not been married in the temple yet and am about to get married a second time to a wonderfull woman who we look forward to a beautifull temple marriage. how could you even think about sacrificing an eternal family for words the world tells you you are supposed to say. If you dont know or havent given eachother your "vows" so to say, outside or inside a temple, maybe you should have not gotten married. why would you even think about sacrificing a temple marriage for when or where you say your "VOWS". A reception after the sacred cerimony is just fine for me to "recite my vows". I desire and cherish nothing more than knowing my wife will be there next to me with our children for all time and eternity. NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME. I dont need what mainstream christianity tells me i have to have for a marriage cerimony to hear "I KNOW" everytime i tell my bride to be that I love her.

  4. Dear "anonymous",

    Welcome to my blog. Just FYI, you are required to sign with your name. If you have the courage to share your thoughts, please have the courage to tell us who you are. Ok? Thanks.
    Just a simple courtesy. :)

    Secondly, I hear what you are saying -- I know many Mormons who feel the same way. You say there is nothing more important to you that having an eternal family.
    To me that statement is so very sad and tragic... you have placed your family, your wife on an altar of idolism my friend.
    Our FIRST LOVE, the MOST important thing should not be our spouse -- but it should be JESUS.
    If you truly are a Christian you would understand that statement and agree.
    While family is a blessing, we are not idolize or spouses or place our love for them above our love for God.

    There is nothing more important to me than being part of the wedding feast of the Lamb and His brids -- which is the Body of CHRIST. That to me is the MOST important thing.

    When someone asked Jesus what the most important thing to do was, He said " Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul" and THEN HE said love your neighbor as yourself. THE FIRST and greatest commandment is to LOVE God. Our earthly relationships are just that earthly. For in that kingdom and in the world to come and in the resurrection we are neither given nor recieved in marriage. In this world, men marry and are given in marriage but in the WORLD to come and in the resurrection there will be no marriage -- but we will be like the angels of God.

    I will pray for you my friend, that God may help you to lay down your false gospel and pick up the cross of Jesus. HE is the most important thing.

    With concern in Christ,

  5. I wonder if you feel any guilt for posting such sacred info of the temple. I don't know you but these things you say are nothing but lack of knowledge in the gospel and as a member. Unfortunately for you, I see poor insight of what you see and hold about the LSD church. Yes its true, that it is hard when sealing with someone, when you're a convert, but seems to me you never found nor had the spirit to teach yourself. I'm glad you love heavenly father and our savior, but you got and are learning from the wrong gospel. Certainly not lds. Because if you were, a person who would know and hold a strong testimony wouldn't says such things like these. If so, I hope one day you can repent and gain that rightful true knowledge. Mormons are Christians. Read your book of Mormon and BIBLE again. We don't hold the 'cross of Christ' symbolically. Again read your scrptures. The bible that holds the old and new testaments are true revelations just as the book of Mormon is as well. The book of Mormon isn't without the bible, just as the bible isn't without the book of Mormon.


Hello and thanks for taking time to read my blog and for leaving a courteous comment.:) May God bless you!!

~ gloria ~